I know that this is more than a little obvious, but in case you did not figure it out, I am a total nerd. I've been to 8 of the last 9 Comic-Cons, I have a shrine in my office dedicated to Tron, I have a resin replica of a Colonial Marine Pulse Rifle, while in my 30's I have waited on line to purchase toys, I can neither confirm or deny wether or not I own a pair of boxer shorts with Wolverine on them...
Alright, I can confirm it.
     Despite this, in my opinion there remains one recess of nerdyness that I can not sink to.
Fantasy Football.
    Fantasy football is the nerdiest thing that you can possibly engage in. Believe it or not, I've always felt as though sports nerds are the most pathetic of all nerds. There's just something strange to me about that level of worship in regards to a group of real live human beings. Not to mention something in there reminds me of slavery for some reason. Also, there's such a massive discrepancy between the fetishists and and the fetish objects. Comic book creators are smart enough to make their characters relatable to the reader. Most of them have alter egos who are (or at least start out as) losers and shut-ins with various physical and/or mental infirmities. Once they are bestowed with their powers, super-suits or the like, they are relatable because of this. How do fantasy football players relate to over-indulged 23-year old millionaires with chiseled physiques who's loyalty to their team lasts exactly as long as their contracts? You never see Iron Man leave the Avengers and take his talents to X-Factor just because they offer him more money, do you?
     To look at it in relation, yes, it is true that the average comic book nerd spends too much time creating super hero team rosters in their heads and wondering how they would do if pitted up against other peoples created teams. However, I have never seen one of these incidences be done on a spreadsheet, giant poster-board or any of the other manner of demarkation that fantasy football teams tend to be drawn up on. All of this is also done in public, no less. If some comic fans did actually spend the man hours needed to piece together something like this, you better believe that it would never leave them or their parents basements. The shame would prove too great, even for them. Meanwhile, fantasy football people talk about their "Draft picks" on their I-Phones next to me at the gym. It's madness, I tells ya. Madness.
     So, it is with all of this in mind that I have created the only fantasy league that should matter to any group of heterosexual males who would normally be spending their hours diving up the NFL's best dog-killers and shoe salesmen. 
A WNBA Fantasy League!
     This league has nothing to do with team or individual in-game statistics. It is purely the hottest players in the WNBA, which, in case you did not know, is in it's 15th season. If you're looking for specific aspects of what the word "Fantasy" applies to, just message me and I'll probably tell you. However, in the interest of saving time, most involve hot-tubs, steam-rooms, malt liquor or a combination of all three. 


So, if you feel like telling me that this list is "Gay", just remember, at least my fantasy involves women. Does yours?      
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#1 pick
Indiana Fever Guard Erin Phillips

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#2 pick
Los Angeles Sparks Froward Candace Parker

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#3 pick
Seattle Storm Center Lauren Jackson

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#4 pick
San Antonio Silver Stars Guard Becky Hammon

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#5 pick
New York Liberty Guard Leilani Mitchell